In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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