3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
either way he was missing a nipple.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
