there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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