yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I party with great urgency now.
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