i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
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He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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