Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Randomize