I wannas sexs uuuuu
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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