Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
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