If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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