Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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