theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
