Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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