Your tits are I can't wait for
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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