We're like a lot better than the average bears
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
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