I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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