the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Randomize
