When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
