She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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