a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Randomize