This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
