he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
