This girl is more easily done than said...
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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