You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
