he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
