I am puke
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Randomize
