Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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