Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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