i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
you never un-have a 4some
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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