She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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