My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
