Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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