You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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