Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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