the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
