did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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