Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
one might say we're banned from that church
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
