I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
