there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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