YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Randomize
