I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
why do cheetos always look like penises
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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