Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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