WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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