I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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