Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
