i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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