But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
of course. lets lasso hookers.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
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