Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
