i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
