did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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