Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
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And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
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I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
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