We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Walk of Shame today included voting.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
