i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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