i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize