I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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