high people should be assigned attendants
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
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