I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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