hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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