just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
