Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
