I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
